Is it about the ego? Is it to help others? Is it to help me?
Yes and no to all of the above.
I have long known when people and animals are about to die- sometimes a year or two before it happens. I get a vision or a knowing, and when the time is close, I often experience a nausea and a repulsion when in the presence of one who is soon to be departing.
This has been happening for a long time. I wonder how others don’t know what I know or see what I see. It seems that is part of being an intuitive- you just assume everyone knows what you know.
Yes, I know things. Sometimes I KNOW I know something, other times it’s not so clear.
And I question why.
Why do I know when someone is about to tell me they ate a falafel? Why do I know when someone is about to cross over? What does it all mean?
What is my responsibility? Do I have responsibilities? Is that why I know stuff that others don’t?
I was going to write this a few weeks ago, while the death of my friend was quite fresh and the heaviness of this knowing of mine was weighing me down. I was “told” last October that he wouldn’t make it through the next summer. He was ill. It shouldn’t be much of a surprise to others, I thought. Everyone must know. They didn’t. I kept checking his facebook page, waiting for the news.
He came to me. His energy was like a beautiful sparkling gold cloud engulfing me with love- it was breathtaking.
But he also told me things, things that others don’t know. He told me of the upcoming death of another friend and how it would happen. I was a little surprised, but not completely.
The heaviness came back. The whys came back. What good is it for me to know this information? I have the awareness enough to know that I can not stop this death. I also know that things could shift and it may not happen. If I tell others will that make it not happen? Then will I look like an idiot? If I don’t tell others am I not being responsible?
I step back.
I expand my awareness.
Everything is perfect.
This death is perfect.
This life is perfect.
I still don’t know why.